angstify!
free pool at lunch today with natalee.. it was this obscure hidden bar near wynyard.. pretty cosy and free pool =) hehe. i kicked her butt.. although she is jsut a beginner =p but that doesnt take away from my total dominance. hehe. nah she isnt too bad, she literally got better on every shot. but i still won by 5 balls each game.

after work was some organisation for our trip.. well me and hunt did for a while.. we had to wait for chito who was on a hot date or something.. man we suck at organising.. the more ppl u get the harder it gets.. why do ppl like leaving everything to the last minute? indecisiveness.. grrr. my mortal enemy. we spent like 100 hours discussing our options.. and in the end.. we didnt really get very far. everything is a bit up in the air. its gonna be like Race Around the World when we get to the airport.. frantically trying to bargain with some old lady to trade her tickets with us so we can get a flight which is 10 mins earlier. then sleeping at the gates of some theme park cos we need to get in first, and we dont have any accommodation... *sigh* ... "OMG theres the next clue! run!!" .... "eep! its a roadblock".

at maccas later that nite, i noticed a girl walk in who was wearing a ludicrous amount of make up. and i suggested to chito that it may be a guy.. she was actually quite feminine looking other than the face.. tall and thin. but the jaw.. and the plastering of eye shadow was a bit sus. anyways.. it appears her and her friend overheard us.. cos they totally gave us a death stare.. and on the way out, they looked at me and said "bye guys" .. lol and she had a girls voice. but how i figure it is this, if she was in fact a girl and not a guy, why would she think that a discussion about shemales would be about her? i reakon she only picked up on it cos she was in fact a guy. .. oh well we'll never know now.

.. needless to say i got home stupidly late.

humble pie
yawn-ness today.. had lunch with kallie. then did nothing at work. nathan started again today.. jsut kinda caught up on stuff.

afterwork went to play tennis at redfern at the Australian Technology Park. i accidently bought a ticket to wynyard this week, so i had to buy a ticket to redfern.. but when i got there.. my ticket didnt work anyway.. so i jsut opened the gate and went thru =p

tennis was ok today.. also played a bit of basketball.. then walked hom ein the rain for a while.. why does it always rain on me? was it beacuse i lied when i was seventeen?

the wedding planner
in other news: my sister is getting married!!! .. yeh finally.. =p everyone could kinda see this happening for ages.. but tis cool to see it finally happening. she has one hell of a rock actually.. it looks huge.. mustve cost an arm and a leg. =) hehe i guess u may as well go all out. i reakon id buy the biggest one i could find and afford.. jsut for the coolness factor. .. ahem.. i mean right after i find a girl.. =p

its gonna be late june or early july.. i get to do heaps of wedding planning =) ooh it shall be such fun .. i cant wait.. im so excited !! my dad doesnt want to do a speech cos his english is kinda suck.. but luckily i want to do one =) hehe. i get to do some video camera-action too .. ahh its gonna be soooo goood!!

did i mention im excited?

retail therapy ++
ok.. eight days.. four pairs of new shoes.. thats gotta be a new record. i went out and bought some dunlop volleys today along with a new red sports bag (to replace my stolen one). i didnt do anything else really today.. but im happy with my purchases.. this retail therapy seems to be working ok-ish. im still pretty angsty but i feel about 4 pairs of shoes better than last week.

i made a camera
today i went to the tracey moffat exhibit at the MCA.. it was pretty incredbile. it was mostly photography but there was a bit of film and some paintings as well. most of the exhibits were portrayls of australian life in some way.. which is cool. i always liked australian art a lil bit more than foreign stuff, maybe cos i can relate to it a bit more. there was one exhibit i particularly liked, it was entitled "fourth" and it was a collection of images of the Olympics of people who'd lost.. and the emotions on their faces as they realise theyd lost. it was pretty incredible to see, her pinpoint the moments.. although it probly seems a bit slack to the ppl actually in them. i highly recommened the show to anyone who has the time to stop by and have a look. =)

afterwards.. me and jel headed to wagamamas for a quick bite before headeding home. nothing too exciting.. just a nice quiet pleasant meal and converstaion with and old friend.. i finally got a frequent noodler card.. which i shoudlve got about 20 chicken katsu curries ago. basically u get this card, and everytime u order a meal, they put the dollars u spent on the card.. and when it gets to $100, u get a meal for free. it starts out at $50.. and each meal is $15-$20 dollars.. so if u go with 3 ppl, u only need one meal before u get a free one.. =)

in other news: i want one of those beanies which are like big.. and have a visor on them.. they look cool. =p where can i buy them?

thornleigh hair clipper massacre
oh also yesterday i let my mum cut may hair again.. man ud think id learn =p nah she did an ok job. but she always asks "how do u want it?" then completely ignores wht i say. or she'll go "ok jsut a little bit off the top.... oops.. oooh that looks short...". its acceptable i guess. but its a bit short for my liking, and i wanted long-ish hair for japan (cos its so cold).

burn baby burn
once again.. couldnt get a date on a fdriday nite.. so i just stayed home and played final fantasy. meh..

anyways.. at about 1am.. julia sms'd me and is like "wanna go to the beach? leaving early tommolo morning" (or words to that effect).. and at 1am i dont like the sounds of early =p but i ended up waking up and getting up in time to make it (well maybe a bit late =p).it was me, julia and a friend of hers named jenny (from school i think).. it was such a nice day at the beach.. we went to Avalon (thats north, since no one seems to know), it was quite quiet.. but nice weather.. and a nice and calm but not still ocean. just kinda lay down and slept most of the day.. i re-applied sunscreen.. but i still ended up getting burnt (grr).

after we intended to go play tennis at julia's work (australian technology park) .. but it was too rainy. so we jsut went and had dinner at burwood.. jsut sat n chatted n stuff for a few hours.. and ate a lot.. mm.. it was so tasty.. then went home after briefly considering a movie.

also.. i broke her window.. ack (not smashed, i jsut broke the wind-up thing)

retail therapy
yesterday i went out to a rathr bizarre lunch, it was with 4 other compscis (which is not in itself all that odd).. but we were all from different years at uni. there was me (started in 99), Chan (started in 2000), anna (started in 2001) and natalee (started in 2002). kinda strange how things turn out.. how IT brings people together =p hehe. anyhoo we went some pub for $6 steaks.. it was pretty good i spose.. nothing to write home about though.

afterwork i went shopping with jel. i had to replace a bunch of stuff which id had stolen last week =p she had to jsut spend money cos thats what she does best.. i ended up buying 2 pairs of shoes (cross trainers, and brown all stars). both of which were on special =) i also bought a reversable belt.. which is cool. like its brown on one side and black on the other. i also wanted to buy a sports bag.. but i couldnt find one that i liked. afterwards we went out to dinner at that noodle place opposite KK. it was nice food.. mm.. and a good chance to catch up. its kinda weird hanging out with jel nowadays.. she kinda grew up really fast, and got too cool. we're a long way off the days when we were bestests... but i think its gettin better.. at least we're trying though which is always a good thing. i do miss the good ole days.

.. gah.. i missed my train home.. and then the next one was half an hour late.. so we left the restaurant jsut past 9.. but i didnt get home till 11:30! grr..

ian is a slacker
went out with work ppl for yum cha today for chinese new year (well to beat the rush) .. then headed to the leagues club for a bit.. ended up taking 3 hours for lunch for the second day in a row.. and no one really even noticed. i guess that shows how important i am to the scheme of things at work =p im mean seriously.. thats half the day i wasnt even in the building..

ouch
my leg hurts a lot.. i pulled a muscle or something at frisbee.. i can barely walk. grr.. man im like in a lucky streak or something of late =p

.. in other news: when my sister got jars of clay tix.. she got the latest CD for free for pre-ordering. which is cool.. but she got one CD per ticket! so i got a CD too =) mm free .. funny cos the CD costs $30 rrp.. but the tickets were only $25 each... go figure.

.. also Vonnie called me last nite.. and asked if i wanted to go to lunch today.. but i cant cos of yum cha.. i felt bad.. she seemed a bit jostled on the phone.. i hope she is ok.. i worry about her. we'll hopefully catch up next week.

four seasons
in other news: today feels lonely

i watched you in the shower.. and lusted for an hour..
i think i saw the lead singer of the mavis's today.. working at a juice shop.. such is the australian music industry.. =p

.. in other news: we lost frisbee today.. i played heaps crap sticks.. and it was uber-windy.. basically the wind was blowing one direction so hard, that scoring a point on comparable breaking serve in tennis.. in the end they won cos they scored more on the bad end.. it was close though. i didnt score but i made one ratehr ludicrous play, where i caught the disc off a long pass.. then whilst still in the air, i threw a pass to andrea in the end zone. it was pretty stupid but it worked.. and my coach goes "if she didnt catch that, i wouldve killed u!" hehe.. cos i have a tendancy to rush the play a lot.. and make bad throws =p meh.. i like the feel of fast breaks =)

blister in the sun
im as high as a kite, i just might.. stop to check you out!

.. actually my new shoes are giving me blisters on my heel.. grr.. stupid expensive shoes. theyre Hush Puppies, which i used to love so much.. but these ones kinda suck.. i think i might stick to Windsor Smiths next time.

monday morning wrap up
sunday i went out to burwood to buy some work shoes (to replace the stolen ones) it was ok.. we were meant to play tennis too, but in the end the courts were all booked out (due to tennis hype over the adidas international). so we sat aroudn in tenny's car and chatted about the world. tenny got laser eye surgery, so he no longer needs to wear glasses. sometime i know a few other ppl are thinking of doing, but he jumped in and did it. he said he saw a pic in his digital camera of amy with soem guy.. and he was like "hey, who's amy with?" ... but it was himself, he didnt recognise himself without glasses =p hehe.

he did heaps of research into how it works and the risks and stuff.. but along the way he came across a study which states that women with glasses are 50% less likely to get asked out than those without.. =p a strange stat.. i actually kinda like girls with glasses.. now i jsut gotta go find some =p

in other news: in a recent mailserver audit, it has been discovered that ian chen has sent mroe external emails than anyone else in the Reserve Bank! tsk tsk.. and u wonder where all your tax dollars are wasted. =p

reversal
seems weekends i dont get to post that much.. but i find it uber confoosing when i dont post on the day that things happened.. so im gonna continue to backdate stuff after this post... meh =p atm im eating cereal after not sleeping much.. and getting home at 5am from the twins' bday thing.. *falls alseep*

anyhoo.. back to whats going on...

:: friday
work was bleh.. as always.. i did have the pleasure of jenny's company for lunch though, which is always a nice thing =) we seems to have the same converation all the time though: hi, hows things? hows work? .. how come you havent got a gf yet? =p still its always fun.. she mentioned that id never get a gf if i dont have a driver license (its on my todo list ok!) .. *sigh* am i destined to be that single guy that everyone knows one of? i guess im not trying very hard not to be =p i just dont need that kinda of hassle atm.

at nite was the Jars of Clay concert.. at the incredibly huge Hillsong church out in the hills. and boy was it big.. its like as big as the entertainment centre without the top tier.. omg! the concert was good too.. even though i havent heard any of their new songs in the last 5 years or so =p the opening act was Roma Waterman, of whom id heard a song or two.. so that was cool too. afterwards iw as trying to buy a tshirt.. but they only had L and XL left.. grr im never either of those. kinda moped around feeling a bit dejected.. but then i realised the display tshirt was a medium.. hehe so i grabbed that one =) a bargain at $20. this concert was basically a perfect setup for my sister to bump into every person she's talked to in the past 20 years. we couldnt walk 2m without her stopping to say hello to someone, which was ok cos a knew a few of them and hadnt seen many of them for a long time. the three Loke girls i always find quite amusing =p we went out to Castle Hill maccas for a bit of a cool down session.. almost amde me feel like a westie.. =p

::saturday
nige stopped over jsut cos he was bored.. and so we went off shopping for a bit.. we went to Hornsby.. then Chatswood.. then the city.. =p i was trying to find something but i couldnt find it anywhere.. grr.. in the end i found it at MarketCity of all places.. oh well.. anyways i had to rush home, then back to the city for michelle and jenelle's bday thing at darling harbour. i made it there and back in record time.. i had to write their cards whilst on the train, so they were uber-messy n stuff.. but at least i turned up on time =p the party ok-ish.. of the ppl that i knew there i spent most of my time kinda lightbulbed.. then there were of course all those people who i kinda know, but dont really know, and who come up and say "omg! hey ian, long time no see.. hows work?" =p then we talk about where things are at for a while.. then i decide i need to go get a drink. =p i talked to a few new people.. but i cant really remember what their names were or anything i said to them.. man im sucha phoney. the end of the party was a tad boring cos every1 sorta left n stuff.. i probly shouldve but after i missed the last train, i figured i may as well stay till the end. i felt i owed it to them.. although i didnt really get a chance to talk to either of them in that time =p but that happens at bday parties, im sure i did the same at mine. meh.. i had to stand up on the nite ride.. gah.. got home at 4:30-ish..

thou shalt not steal
meh.. anyways.. my bag got stolen last nite.. a smash n grab out of the back of david tang's car. grr.. damn material possessions.. at first it was like "fsk!!" but then i was like "meh, its jsut stuff" .. but when u do the math its a fair bit..

bag: ~$50
shirt: ~$50
suit pants: ~$80
belt: $40
shoes: $120
GBA: $130
warioware: $70
jacket: $70

thats ~$610 worth of stuff.. omg! i never even realised i was carrying that much stuff around.. else id be a lot more careful with my stuff. oh well.. tis just money i spose. *shrugs* bleh.. my good luck streak continues... =p

afterwards we headed to the police station, and filed a report.. left redfern at close to midnite.. jel called me whilst i was ont he train to make sure i was ok, which was sweet, a pretty long call too twas like the most ive spoken to her all year. we really need to catch up sometime... i got home at approx.. uh... "stupidly late for someone who wakes up at 6:30 for work" =p man i seriously need some sleep... my neck is in bad shape from attempting to sleep on the train.

.... anyhoos back to what i did yesterday:
work work.. twas all pretty bleh.. i was meant to go buy bday pressies for the twins.. i had this great idea for both.. but i went out and the one for jel was sold out.. which kinda ruined my plan.. onto plan b (yet to be devised =p). after work i had to go to flight centre to push back my return flight from japan, cos we had troubles with internal flights getting us back to tokyo from the snow. i bumped into tina at pitt st mall and stopped to chat for a bit.. ive never really talked to her much before, cept for online.. it was kinda cool =)

then onwards to tennis.. yes tennis again from me.. i know its weird. =p my wrists are still struggling at the tennis action, but its getting a bit better. im hitting a lot straighter than i was before, still nothing which resembles accuracy though =p but im jsut glad to get the ball over the net atm. it was so nce to play not int he sun for once though =) liek i managed to play for more than 5 mins without having to stop and lie down and drink a few litres of water =p

.. next we went to eat at this thai place.. (where the stealage action occured) the food was ok.. the place was quite nice too. they had background music which resembled the soundtrack from the last time i went to karaoke.. lotsa sketchy remakes of 1980s ballads n stuff =)

help, im trapped in a fortune cookie factory!
twas mike's last day at work today.. so we went out to this chinese place on east circular quay.. it was ok. kinda pricey though... anyhoo at the end we got fortune cookies, and mine said "you never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back". i think theres something in that for everyone... maybe some carpe diem sorta message, im not really a seize the day kinda guy though =p

.. i was taking to this guy form UTS, who remmebers me from the days when i tutored PSDA.. and he said something along the lines of "i remmeber you, you only ever helped the first year girls" hehe.. i kinda remember that, ahh those were the days... =p i met some of my favouritest people from those labs...

if you love me, where have you been?
the angst has kinda subsided for now.. i can feel myself getting more apathetic everyday..

the other day someone accused of being a hypocrite cos i always say that i dont care what people think about me. that stings =( i dont care what people think.. but i do care what some individuals think about me, which isnt really the same thing. these individuals are people who's friendship i care about.. and it do care what they say about me... but for the most part i coudlnt care less what the general populus think about me. this isnt some american high school tv show, i dont do stuff cos i think itll make me fit in with the cool kids. her example was that i cared when she made that comment.. but that comment was made by someone who id like to think was a close friend =(

*shrugs* i shouldnt let people get to me..

in other news: im so excited about japan and final fantasy x is stealing all my sleep!! argh.. theyre in my head!!

this blog is brought to you in part by all the suckers who still believe in love. this one's for you~
work was crapsticks today.. *sigh* .. then i went and played frisbee.. we played the top team again.. and basically we 0wnz0red them hard. it was quite embarassing, but they are one of my favourite teams to play against, cos theyre really friendly and happy.. even when are are losing badly. i think the final score was 18-6, which is a huge win in frisbee.. especially against this team who had only lost one other game (also against us). i played pretty well.. my throwing was good this week, and i made one quite ludicrous catch int he end zone.. my teamate threw a 20m curving throw about 2 feet off the ground, but overthrew it.. and i had to stop and turn around, run backwards and i caught it past horizontal.. so i ended up landing on my head.... almost knocked myself out. luckily i held onto the disc =)

.. in other news: dont u hate it when u do something really stupid.. and later u think "man that was so dumb.. but at least ive learnt something from this" .. but then a while later.. u do the same thing again.. and think "gah.. im soo stupid! i knew this would happen". im so frustrated at myself.. i could see it coming from a mile away, why didnt i just turn and run? my stupid self had to go and have a closer look... but then i got hit in the face by a bullet train of some kind.. maybe one of those maglev trains they have in japan.. ouch it hurts. oh well thatll teach me... i hope.. although i said that last time..

ive been listening to a lot of Reel Big Fish lately.. and theyve got a lot of nicely angsty lyrics to their songs... but at the same time, ska music is always pretty cheery.. even if it is talking about how life sucks n stuff =p its quite uplifting.

so yesterday
meh.. i dont really have time to update my blog on weekends.. im trying to stay occupied so i dont think about the cruel world around me. been trying to do things most hours of the day so im not often sitting around dwelling. i figure stuff happens, ill get jerked around.. but sitting around feeling sorry for myself isnt gonna make it any better.

anyways.. heres what i did...

::friday
went home.. =p
then went out again.. to this angels and light thing at Olympic park.. i was stupid enough to rush off and catch the train.. then later found out that Jo drove. damnit! =p basically we sat around on a rug for a lil while waiting for this thing to start. lotsa people were there, so inevitably i bumped into a few ppl i knew and chatted a bit. turns out the spot we had been waiting in all afternoon was a really sucky spot. and we couldnt really see anything. but it was kinda cool (what i saw of it) a bit overrated though id say.. it like giant balloons and guys on highwires flying about.

afterwards we stood around for a while being undecided about what to do next.. then we stood around some more.. and thought about it more.. and no one really knew what they wanted to do.. in the end gelatissimo at burwood was the go.. hardly something to get excited about, but how can i say no to any sort of iced confectionary =)

i caught one of the last trains home.. bleh

::saturday..
woke up earlier than i wouldve liked to and felt a bit dazed... kinda stumbled around for a while, then settled on watching basketball for a few hours. then i thought id better get my passport and my visa ready for my big trip.. to chito's house.. man its a fair hike from thornleigh.... we sat aroudna round and ate authentic sushi which his mum made.. and swam in the warm murky green waters of Chito Lake..

it was all very lazy.. i wouldve liked to have slept a bit more =p but we had to head to the Reel Big Fish gig.. which supposedly started at 7pm.. we ended up being quite late.. and getting there at 8... but when we got in, we found out that the first opening act didnt even start till 9:15, Area 7 wasnt on till 10:15.. and Reel Big Fish wasnt on till 11:30!! man thats a lot of standing up!

we decided to go out and grab a bite before the show.. so we werent stuck in that sweaty, smoky sticky bar area for 5 hours straight. gus n shelly decided to go see a movie since RBF werent on for another 3 hours =p but i stayed for Area 7.. and it was so worth it, they rox0red my sox0rs.. they were heaps better than last time i say them. they were maybe even better than RBF.. who were good.. but not as good as the last time i saw them. probly cos last time was a planned tour, but this time they were just stopping by after the falls festival, and thoguht theyd play a gig =p im so glad they did =)

i am uber-sore from the skank hole/mosh pit.. my ankles are bruised.. my toes are mushed.. and i copped a rather hefty elbow to the jaw, which still hurts.. but it was such fun i dont really care that i cant chew anymore =p went home with a tshirt soaked in some stranger's sweat and beers.. caught the last train home and walked home pretty damn freezing.. but it was all worth it =)

::sunday
woke up too early again.. felt like jsut sleeping.. but alas i had to get up to go computer shopping.... but ended up buyign nothing really =p the north rocks markets are heaps less good than they used to be. we just walked around for a while then shrugged our shoulders then my dad n brother went home.. and i went off with tenny and others to parra. jsut kinda hung out for a while in westfields.. and i came away with a busted caseless copy of Dead or Alive 2 for $15.. =p

after much loitering about the place, we headed off to play tennis.. man i still sux0rs heaps! can some1 please teach me to play *flicks wrist, sending ball into the next court* .. grrr!! stupid racquet.. my retarded arms can only play squash! *sigh*.. oh the trails of a hopeful tennis star.. =p

thats pretty much it for the weekend.. im soo tired now.. *falls asleep at keyboard*

analyse this!
dont u hate it when someone takes some random, obscure coinicdental pieces of information and construes them into some sort of conspiracy, or some vicious rumor. its kinda like a real life personal tabloid.. where things are insinuated based on simple everyday events.

meh.. i guess thats how the world works.. ppl like to gossip
.. how come no one ever tells me anything though? =p

angst level rising.....
so ive kinda been a bit angsty about something recently.. but im ok with that now.

.. but then i forgot to check my blindspot.. and something else came from nowhere and hit me very hard in the back of the head... =(

.. argh! i cant win...

the path of least resistance
i was watching this interview on jay leno of this guy (i forget his name) but he is a presidential candidate. and this guy went to college and studied arts (or some crap) then.. didnt know what to do .. so he worked in his family business (stock broking) for 2 years.. then decided to go back to college and complete a medical degree.. then he practiced medicine for 10 years.. and somehow ended up becoming governor.

i think its great how he kinda changed so much.. he mentioned that stockbroking was the path of least resistance.. and i think that for a lot of people (including myself) that is too often to path taken. sometimes its easier for us to just stick to what we know and we miss opportunities for something more... but maybe i just hate the feeling im gonna be stuck in the same town in the same job forever.

it was always the easy option for me to go do computing.. and then this RBA job kinda just fell in my lap.. and ive jsut been too scared to leave. lately ive been feeling i dont really belong there. but the big question is, am i brave enough to seive the day.. go out on a limb, take a chance? i dont know the answer yet.. not today though.. but maybe tommolo ill get around to it =p

maybe ill become a doctor too.. when i was a kid, i always wanted to be either a doctor.. or a pilot.

.. the other day hunt mentioned that just i always seem to think moving away will solve all my problems doesnt mean that it will. which is true.. but sometimes its worth taking a chance.. risking it all to see if the grass is really greener on the other side.

*shrugs* ill most likely be too scared to make a leap into the unknown.. to take the road less travelled.. but at least im thinking about it. maybe a fresh start is what i need.

.. in other news: man there were a lot of cliches in this post =p

internationalist
ok.. where are all these international ppl coming from?
if u hadnt noticed i had a comment or two from some ppl who i dont know.. most of which are not in english.. bizzare. but kinda fun too =) i welcome all readers to my blog.. i try and be PC where i can.. but im not really bothered who reads it.. if i wanted to devulved any secrets here, then i wouldnt have made it public.

so hello to you foreigners.. what would be cool was if you introduced urselves.. and how you found my blog or something, man i wish i had a community sorta dealie going. =p

..
in other news: tuesday was a bit of a suck, i went home early cos i felt kinda sickly.. bleh. just played Wario Ware Inc for hours n hours. then chatted on the phone for a while.. mostly me bitching or sulking, which is pretty common of late =p

backlog
ok.. i havent posted for a bit.. ive just been heaps lethargic cos of the heat n humidity.. been doing a lot of lying down n stuff lately. =p

anyhoos.. sunday i didnt really do anything cept go play tennis with tenny and the other kids. if u didnt know, i cant play tennis.. i suck at it a lot, i like to think its cos i played squash for years and racquet action is all different (mostly wrist, hardly any arm), but i think the truth is that im jsut unco. i just kinda wait too long for the ball, probly from playing cricket. meh it was still kinda fun, but the weather was kinda energy sapping.

kallie n dave are back from HK, and they came bearing gifts of teh Gameboy Advance type =) hehe. Warioware Inc, Final Fantasy Tactics, and Super Mario Bros 3. havent really played them much, but Wario is uber-addictive, its jsut a big bunch of games which take 3 seconds to play each =p so simple.. but i just cant stop.... argh! hehe

.. just another manic monday...
work was teh ghey today.. bleh.. it seems to be like that everyday now. =(
anyhoo, frisbee is back on and we played this uber-ghey team who beat us last time, but are all like cheaters. lucky it was hot, and they were tired. one guy threatened to clobber me.. well i was face guarding him, and i dont think he appreciated that very much =p .. i shoudlve done an off the hezay =p

in other news: the angst-o-meter has dropped a bit i think, mostly due to increased apathy rather than a decrease in suckiness. bleh.. im so over trying to try. im a bit in a que sera sera kinda mood, yeh stuff happens.. why should i care? no reason.. *gets on with his life*

arghh!!
*pulls out hair* =(

spent a lot of time last nite.. thinking and talking about where i am right now.. actually till the wee hours of the morning. i get frustrated so easily with life.. like i just go with the flow a bit.. but then get caught in a rip and i realise theres no safe way to go back. i got myself into a position where theres no winning move. and not just for me, i think everyones loses and i feel so bad about what ive done =( normally im so responsible, but every now and then i let my guard down... and pay for it for a long time.

i need some serious retail therapy... ive never maxed out my credit card before.. i wonder what that feels like?

in other news.. i need a hug but i dunno where to get one.. i think ill settle for a pikachu hug.

.. do do do.. also i went to see Love Actually.. its an incredible movie.. i recommend u go see it. itd be especially good to see with that special someone. im not really in the mood to write a review though.

.. also ive dropped a couple of kilos since NYE.. some of it cos of angst.. some cos ive only eaten 2 full meals since then. im just not hungry... dunno why, but ill eat tonite at tenny's bday, so thatll help i guess.

merry new year~
new years eve was pretty cool, i started out at Ms Macquarie's chair for a bit of picnic action with nige and the kids. it was kinda fun to throw around a ball and play cards.. and bask in teh sunlight.. well until the rain came =p luckily i was headed off to another party =) so i ditched them all and went to a nicer party in a huge waterside apartment in drummoyne =) soo nice, thats the sorta place id get if i won the lottery... maybe one day.. *has that dream where im swimming in money like scrooge mcduck*... i had a lot of cocktails.. maybe one too many.. it rained a lil bit, but it wasnt enough to make it uncomfortable

.. i got home at about 6pm the today.. whoa.. my head doesnt feel so good =p

some other stuff happened.. but i dun really wanna talk about it *sigh*
on that note.. ive decided not to have a new new years resolution (yeh thats new new) .. but instead im jsut gonna renew my last years one.. cos it seemed to work pretty well for me last year.. and the one day so far of this year has caused more trouble tahn id care for already. meh.. apathy is bliss.

in other news: seemed i dont have a ride to camp.. so i cant go =( i dunno.. im a bit over the dragonboat-ness.. too much disarrayll be around